Smut

by Atropos

The weather had finally turned, and a heavy sleet was coating New York in a layer of glittering ice. Luckily they hadn't had any jobs, but that just meant they'd been stuck inside all day.

Peter was bored and restless. Winston and Ray were tinkering with Ecto-1, Egon was down in the basement fooling with the containment unit, and Janine was on her lunch hour upstairs.

The phone hadn't rung in hours. Peter decided that Winston or Ray could cover it if it did happen to ring, and wandered up to the second floor.

Janine was sitting at the dining table, nursing a cup of yogurt and reading a paperback. She had disobligingly put some kind of protective sleeve on it, and he couldn't see the cover.

She paid no attention to him--which of course was his least favourite thing in the world--as he entered the room and checked the fridge for anything interesting. "Are we out of Coke again?" She didn't answer, apparently engrossed in her book. He shut the fridge and wandered casually around the table to come up behind her. He looked down at the top of her head. "Do I see silver threads among the gold?"

"Working for you, I don't doubt it," she replied absently. "Go away, Dr. V, I'm trying to enjoy my lunch."

He didn't move. "What are you reading that's so interesting?" He leaned over her shoulder and got to see a couple of lines before she snapped the book shut and glared up at him.

He grinned at her, then grabbed the book out of her hands and bolted for the stairs. "HEY GUYS, JANINE'S READING SMUT!" His gleeful shout echoed up behind him.

She slipped out of her shoes and took off after him flatfooted. "PETER VENKMAN YOU GIVE THAT BACK OR SO HELP ME!"

"What the hell--" Winston looked over Ecto's roof as Peter made it to the ground floor. He glanced back and decided he had enough of a lead to stop and flip quickly through the book, looking for the good parts. He skimmed for a few seconds before bolting for his office, Janine hard on his heels.

"I thought women didn't read this kind of thing! Where did you get this?"

He decided at the last minute that letting Janine chase him into a semi-enclosed space was a bad idea, so he took a sharp turn past her desk. "It's nothing you wouldn't see in one of your magazines," she snapped, facing off with him across the desktop. He pulled the slipcover off the book, revealing a painting of two half-naked people in a passionate embrace. She made a grab for the book and he dashed off across the bay, grinning madly. This was fun.

"What on earth is going on up here--" Egon emerged from the basement as Peter passed on the far side of the room. Janine hit the brakes, skidding a bit on her hose. Her gaze flickered between Egon, who looked parentally disapproving, and Peter, who was now standing safely out of her reach and looking evil.

She looked back and forth a few times, gave up on acting mature and dignified in front of Egon, and took off after Peter again. "He's got my book!"

"Janine's reading smut! Want to see? It might be educational." He slowed down and displayed the book as he passed.

Peter underestimated Egon's reach, and the book was snatched out of his grasp as he came too close. Janine froze again, and Peter decided the expression of horror on her face was well worth whatever she was going to do to him when she caught up with him. She paled and then blushed furiously, looking daggers at Peter. "It isn't smut!" she said defensively, looking briefly as if she were considering trying to get the book away from Egon by fair means or foul. He caught her expression and started looking a trifle desperate. Peter snickered. Winston and Ray leaned against Ecto and watched with great interest. "It's a romance novel," she finally declared, crossing her arms across her chest and trying to look unconcerned.

"Oh yeah? What's the difference?" Peter mirrored her nonchalant posture.

The colour started to rise in her cheeks again. "It's written for people who don't require pictures, for one thing," she sniffed disdainfully. Peter just waited. Egon looked very much as if he wished he'd never gotten involved in the first place. "It isn't smut if they're in love," she said, sounding self-conscious.

Peter laughed. "I know smut, and this is smut. Here, listen..." He folded his hands behind himself, looking up slightly as he remembered the lines he'd gotten to see. "'He wasted no time, running his tongue lazily across her b--'"

"That's absolutely unnecessary, Peter," Egon hastily interrupted. "I have no interest in what anyone reads--just keep it to yourselves and try not to bring the ceiling down." He held the book out as if it were contagious. Janine snatched it back and tucked it protectively under her arm, the front cover hidden. Egon immediately retreated to the basement.

Janine and Peter looked at each other for a moment. Janine finally stalked over to him and smacked him on the shoulder with her book. "Now he thinks I'm some kind of pervert!" she said as they walked towards the reception desk.

Peter put a companionable arm over her shoulders. "Hey, I did you a favour. Now he's wondering exactly how freaky you really are. It gives you an air of mystery."

"That kind of help I don't need. I can't see Egon being into 'freaky.'"

He grinned lasciviously at her. "No, but curiosity is one of his main motivators." He left her at the half-door and settled into his chair, arms behind his head and feet up on the desk.

She considered this idea. "I'm gonna get you, Venkman."

"No way. I learned from the best--you'll never put one over on me."

She entered the "room" and sat on one of the visitor chairs, studying the profusion of paper and assorted clutter on his desk. She pointed to a small packet of papers with a yellow sticky note on top. "You know, you were supposed to sign that and give it back to me last week."

He picked it up and studied it. "Sorry." He dug for a pen and she pretended to help.

"How do you find anything in this mess?"

He unearthed a pen from under a stack of receipts and signed Janine's paperwork, then handed it over. "I have a system."

"Some system. And you wonder why I never give you anything important." She poked at a stack of paperwork, which tipped over and spread itself out sideways.

She headed back out into the garage bay, but bypassed her desk and leaned a hip against Ecto's fender. "See, the good thing about having an older sister," she confided to Winston and Ray, "is that you learn early on how to filch things." She drew a small leather-bound book out of the bell sleeve of her blouse. "Isn't that cute? He actually has a little black book!" She pitched her voice to carry across the room.

There was a sudden noise of papers being hastily rearranged, and then Peter's face appeared over the filing cabinets. Janine grinned and flashed the book at him, then turned and pelted up the stairs.

"That's not fair!" Peter vaulted the half-door and started after her. "Dammit, Janine, I'm considering this in your review!..."


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Last updated Tue Jul 20 2010 at 9:32:45pm

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